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Watching the Watchers

by Willy Chaplin

I have written in the past (see: The President's Private Parts: III) about Theodore Hersh's revisionist history of the Kennedy assassination, The Dark Side of Camelot. Like most other commentators, I focused on the titillating aspects of the book...sex, drugs and rock-and-roll. Today I would like to give you another take on what it reveals about our society, about the motion of history.

The book actually deals only peripherally with Kennedy's sexual dalliances, which were numerous and arguably much wilder than our current Adulterer in Charge. This may have sold a lot of books, but there is a much deeper message buried between its covers. It is that the spin doctors of the early sixties were MUCH more successful in concealing the true nature of the men...and they were mostly men...whose careers they were promoting than the current practitioners. James Carville may get more press and TV minutes, but Theodore White (one of Kennedy's flacks) was a unsurpassed in the game of public relations.

For example, John F. Kennedy was held up as an exemplar of the good old fashioned American work ethic. Remember "Ask not..."? Yet, he was actually a lazy fuck-around who spent hours each day in sexual games in the White House pool or sending HIS troopers out to fetch some pay-per-view-pussy. Both his appetites and his performance made Clinton look like a Pretender to the Throne.

He was billed as a Great American War Hero because of an action in which he took part in World War II. In fact, he was a decorated combat veteran and his father saw to it that the episode was heralded in Reader's Digest as well as in a movie produced on the subject, with Kennedy himself picking the actor (Cliff Robertson, a handsome if untalented actor) who was to portray him. Yet, the actual facts of the incident showed that he warranted a reprimand for his behavior rather than a medal.

His patriotism was held to be above reproach. Yet, once again, his proclivity for taking sexual risks belies this. One of his mistresses was an East German communist official. Another was also the mistress of a powerful Mafia boss. His entire career was checkered with episodes of political blackmail, where insider knowledge of his real behavior...in contrast to his public image...was used by his opponents to gain political advantage. Among those who advanced or sustained their careers by blackmailing Kennedy were Lyndon Johnson and J. Edgar Hoover. The former is said to have used Kennedy dirt to leverage himself into the Vice Presidency...and, conspiracy theorists take note...eventually into the presidency. Big Mama Hoover merely kept his long career of treachery and deceit chugging merrily along. That these men were hardly paragons of virtue themselves, goes without saying. The fact is, none of this information was made public...at least in the highly documented form that Hersh achieves...until long after its relevancy was diluted.

The paramount moment in the Kennedy legacy...the Cuban Missile Crisis...which is usually portrayed as a shining moment in American history, proving for all time just how courageous and steadfast the man was, turns out, on closer examination to be just another sordid example of treachery, blackmail and deceit. Soviet Premier Khrushchev had continually bested Kennedy in diplomatic affairs prior to that event. Secret protocols now reveal that he did so once again during this affair, squeezing important concessions out of Kennedy regarding U.S. missile deployments in Turkey as the price of "backing down" in Cuba. We have never really faced up to the fact that Kennedy was using the threat of nuclear annihilation (although it would have been mostly the Soviet Union which would have been destroyed, since, at the time, their nuclear arsenal was minute compared to ours) and the deaths of literally millions of people to engage in a game of chicken with a rival "boss of bosses." Now THAT'S a fragile ego...not to mention a demented mind!

The remarkable thing is not that these events occurred. If you had access to and read the insider political gossip rags of the time, especially those written by enemies of Kennedy on both the left and the right, you could have gotten wind of them about the same time they happened. But, the great unwashed...WE...weren't given a hint of a glimpse into what was really occurring. Instead, we were fed a constant diet of blatant propaganda by our media, whitewashing our role as a country, but mostly simply covering up the reckless and perverted behavior of our leaders.

Contrast this with the current situation. Hardly a week goes by without further evidence emerging in the tabloid press of the gross decadence of the remaining Kennedy spawn. The blatant baloney peddled by the Bush administration about the Gulf War was revealed within weeks of the conflict...and in the establishment press to boot. Clinton can't even get a blow job in the oval office without it making the evening news! The media still gamely try to preserve some modicum of decorum and respect around these high political offices. But, the task grows increasingly hopeless. Good grief! If the people they are spending so much time and treasure to cover aren't worth the powder to blow them to hell, then what are THEY to make of their OWN worth? These days, Jay Leno commands more respect as a political commentator than Dan Rather or Cokie Roberts, proving the point.

What happened in the interim between Kennedy and Clinton, between the turbulent sixties and the roaring nineties? Well, the turbulent sixties happened, for one. Then there was Watergate, Iran-Contragate and now Tailgate. Most of all, what happened was television. This much maligned medium transformed political discourse from carefully tailored bullshit into wild and wooly spectacle. It's getting harder each year to tell the actors from the people they portray. I mean, is Fred Dalton Thompson REALLY a senator, or is he just PLAYING a senator in a movie? Who can say and does it matter?

Many people lament what is happening. They long for the good old days when they didn't have to know what was really going down. I, for one, find all this circus rather refreshing, not to say amusing. I was one of those who "knew" that the Kennedys were all show and no substance. Now, millions of people know it. Today, we all EXPECT our politicians to lie, cheat and steal. If they only lie about their sex lives, if they only cheat on their taxes and their spouses, if they only steal a few million...we are willing to let it slide. Just so they don't lead us down the path of madness...war, depression or eco-catastrophe...to hell with it! I think this is progress.

Sure, there is a long way still to go. Yes, the media tell us too much about Clinton's penis and not enough about how the government is still fucking us in the ass with ITS penis. But, that's as much our fault as theirs. Now, however, we ARE the media. The Internet puts the whole thing in our laps...where it belongs. I'm looking forward to the next act in this drama. How about you?

Talk to you later...

Willy Chaplin is a man who calls himself a libertarian and thinks he has something to say to us all. This rant was previously published on How Can You Laugh at a Time Like This?